Author: Neeru

Self-esteem or self-worth is one of the greatest assets that a human being must have, the way we show up really counts. This is a gift which you, as a parent can give to your child starting early on so that your child does not feel less than anyone. Skin color ,birthplace , birth family, schooling , the community we live in or what profession we choose in our lives whether we are short or tall, thin or fat should never determine how worthy or unworthy we feel about ourselves. Parents play a big role in boosting self esteem.

What I’m trying to say is that how you raise and interact with your child is how you lay a firm foundation of this asset called self-esteem. You must be mindful in planting and watering the good seeds of self esteem.

In the podcast The Way Out Is In
Episode # 71 Ancient Path For Modern Times: Feeling Safe
Sister TD speaks to this. She says
“To have a deep, compassionate quality of presence with your family,” which includes your child too, is the key. She explains how we perceive ourselves shifts the energy field.
In my posts I have included the steps on how to nourish self-esteem and self-worth in your child. The screening called “Home Inventory” mentions positive
words your child needs to hear from you on a daily basis. For example “I am so happy to be your mom/dad.” your child needs to know that he or she does not have to be perfect to be loved , that love is unconditional. Your child needs to know from you that they are enough as they are and no matter what, you are always there for them. Loving words, always stick. Your positive words will shape your child’s self esteem. I have met many adults in my life who feel so unworthy no matter how talented they may be because they were made to feel insignificant. By building, strong connections and being attuned to your child and recognizing their strengths and weaknesses you will boost their self-esteem. Life is a learning process , your child learns to see himself through your eyes.

A child is a reflection of the world they experience, as they grow and develop. Our job as a parent or caregiver is to provide them a nurturing, caring, consistent, predictable, stimulating, and enriching environment where their neurons can grow and thrive. Dr. Bruce Perry, the head of The Trauma center.org, which is based in Houston, Texas! explains how, although only 25% is developed when the baby is born, the brain grows and develops rapidly during the first four years of a child’s life. By age 4, it’s 90% adult brain. Dr. Perry explains that the connection between neurons increases and strengthens” through repetition.”
Early life experiences are crucial to laying a firm foundation. His seven-slide series is worth watching to gain knowledge about how the brain grows and develops from the brainstem outward, and inwards. Knowledge to set up flexible, supportive, and nurturing routines in your family life is crucial to give that boost to your child’s developing neurons.
Dr. Dan Siegel talks about the function of the left and right hemispheres of the brain, he says that the right side is early developing, nonverbal, and expresses raw emotion. When a parent follows and responds in a caring and responsive manner, there can be tremendous growth of strong neurons because the early cues the baby gives are all nonverbal, they feel gratified when they are responded to in a timely manner. Otherwise they get stressed easily.

The left brain is later developing. It’s linguistic, linear, logical and literal. It is very important for a parent and primary caregiver to understand the two regions of the brain, while looking deeply at their own left and right modes! Understanding that either can be more dominant than the other is essential. Experts say that if this is not known to a parent, there is disconnect and rigidity and leads to chaos. The key is to find the balance within ourselves and provide an environment to your child where they can thrive .

Screen time versus Greentime – What would you choose?
There are 1000 things to do daily in your backyard and neighborhood , than sit in front of devices. Please choose wisely.

Recent research on media usage has shown the detrimental effects on the brain of development of young children . Experts are saying that we need to restrict media usage for children from 0- 8years old. For children 0 to 2 years, experts recommend no exposure to TV, iPads , iPhones or any other devices. Between the ages of 2-8 years old, it needs to be restricted because as we know the attention span of young children is already short and studies have shown that media usage is impacting and reducing that attention span and this becomes very problematic.

Dr. Supreet Mann, director of research with Common Sense Media and Dr. Lee, clinical psychologist at the Boston Children’s Hospital, in one of their webinar, mentioned about the science behind brain development. They said it is important for parents to understand the developing brain of their young child, as I have mentioned in my website on my posts and videos. At birth , the brain is only 25% developed , fast moving images, etc.
overstimulate the brain of young children and it becomes very difficult for babies and toddlers to process the input and be able to deal with colors, fast moving images, etc. Dr. Lee says that the brain of babies are very plastic and over stimulation impacts sleep, self regulation, etc. in a very negative way. For older children 2-8 yrs old the video length matters. It’s better to engage children in videos that follow a storyline and not short, fast moving clips, she also emphasized that viewing must be restricted.

Here are the five most important steps you can take and enforce.
1. Limit screen time.
2. Be consistent to manage screen time usage.
3. Choose media, which has educational value.
4. View with your child and explain what is appropriate and not appropriate.
5. Allow only age-appropriate and engaging content.

I will close by saying that media content that encourages curiosity, critical, thinking skills, raise confidence, and are interactive matter most.